Holland - The Other Prodigal - April 2002

Elder Holland uses the parable of the Prodigal Son as a basis for his talk about envy.  The story speaks of two brothers, one older brother who seems to do everything right in his life, and a younger, unwise brother who leaves home and squanders the inheritance that his father has given him.  When the younger brother returns home looking for some compassion, he is met with open arms.

• The tender image of this boy’s anxious, faithful father running to meet him and showering him with kisses is one of the most moving and compassionate scenes in all of holy writ. It tells every child of God, wayward or otherwise, how much God wants us back in the protection of His arms.
  

The older brother is jealous, not that the boy has returned home, but that his parents are so welcoming to the younger brother who did everything wrong.  Elder Holland asks us why this older brother was so bothered by his parent's reaction.

• Who is it that whispers so subtly in our ear that a gift given to another somehow diminishes the blessings we have received? Who makes us feel that if God is smiling on another, then He surely must somehow be frowning on us? You and I both know who does this—it is the father of all lies. It is Lucifer, our common enemy, whose cry down through the corridors of time is always and to everyone, “Give me thine honor.”
  
• It has been said that envy is the one sin to which no one readily confesses, but just how widespread that tendency can be is suggested in the old Danish proverb, “If envy were a fever, all the world would be ill.” The parson in Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales laments it because it is so far-reaching—it can resent anything, including any virtue and talent, and it can be offended by everything, including every goodness and joy. As others seem to grow larger in our sight, we think we must therefore be smaller. So, unfortunately, we occasionally act that way.
  
• How does this happen, especially when we wish so much that it would not? I think one of the reasons is that every day we see allurements of one kind or another that tell us what we have is not enough. Someone or something is forever telling us we need to be more handsome or more wealthy, more applauded or more admired than we see ourselves as being. We are told we haven’t collected enough possessions or gone to enough fun places. We are bombarded with the message that on the world’s scale of things we have been weighed in the balance and found wanting. Some days it is as if we have been locked in a cubicle of a great and spacious building where the only thing on the TV is a never-ending soap opera entitled Vain Imaginations.

Elder Holland assures us that even though we see the world in this manner sometimes, God does not.

• But God does not work this way. The father in this story does not tantalize his children. He does not mercilessly measure them against their neighbors. He doesn’t even compare them with each other. His gestures of compassion toward one do not require a withdrawal or denial of love for the other. He is divinely generous to both of these sons. Toward both of his children he extends charity. I believe God is with us the way my precious wife, Pat, is with my singing. She is a gifted musician, something of a musical genius, but I couldn’t capture a musical note with Velcro. And yet I know she loves me in a very special way when I try to sing. I know that because I can see it in her eyes. They are the eyes of love.

Elder Holland talks about the main issue with the son in the story was that he was suffering from the great sin of coveting.  We would all be wise to recognize where this sin comes from and how damaging it can be to not understand that our journey back to our Father in Heaven is about a race against others, it is simply a race against ourselves.

• Most “thou shalt not” commandments are meant to keep us from hurting others, but I am convinced the commandment not to covet is meant to keep us from hurting ourselves.
  
• How can we overcome such a tendency so common in almost everyone? For one thing, we can do as these two sons did and start making our way back to the Father. We should do so with as much haste and humility as we can summon. Along the way we can count our many blessings and we can applaud the accomplishments of others. Best of all, we can serve others, the finest exercise for the heart ever prescribed. But finally these will not be enough. When we are lost, we can “come to ourselves,” but we may not always be able to “find ourselves,” and, worlds without end, we cannot “save ourselves.” Only the Father and His Only Begotten Son can do that. Salvation is in Them only. So we pray that They will help us, that They will “come out” to meet and embrace us and bring us into the feast They have prepared.
  
• They will do this! The scriptures are replete with the promise that God’s grace is sufficient. This is one arena where no one has to claw or compete.

Elder Holland ends with words of encouragement for us all.

• No one of us is less treasured or cherished of God than another. He loves each of us—insecurities, anxieties, self-image, and all. He doesn’t measure our talents or our looks; He doesn’t measure our professions or our possessions. He cheers on every runner, calling out that the race is against sin, not against each other. I know that if we will be faithful, there is a perfectly tailored robe of righteousness ready and waiting for everyone, “robes … made … white in the blood of the Lamb.”
  

It is so easy to get lost in the idea that someone else's success comes at a cost of our prosperity.  This is a natural and unnecessary feeling.  There is room for all of our success in the kingdom of God.  As a father, I want to be mindful of the way my kids could see some of the reactions that I have to things that they do.  I don't want one to feel that my love for them is diminished by my expression of love for another's.  These feels are natural when we feel we need to compete for attention, time, or affection.  It is my goal to try to consider how my actions might be causing concerns with my kids and make sure I show an outpouring of love and attention to each of them. Our Father in Heaven loves us and that love isn't diminished by Him blessing someone else or by showing His hand in someone elses life.